A lady with visions may Allah rest her soul in peace ameen.
Usually as an insomniac guy I hardly fall a sleep even consuming high dose of sleeping pills.but tonight I didn’t have to struggle much and fell asleep,even after two hours I woke up with horrible nightmare which is also common for me but this time it was really horrifying and now insomnia is back or I would say I scared of fall asleep again…. 😓😓😓
the greatest curse one can have is the loneliness. And who will understand better than me as i am suffering from this curse since 2008. i took my sleeping pills and went to bed few hours ago and was about to fall asleep , when my mind took me back to 2008 the time which was and still my best and worst year of my life. best as i was with my love during that year and worst because he left me at the end of 2008 without giving me any reason or telling me anything.
so by that thoughts my sleep ran away and insomnia got over me.that’s how i am blogging as i cant sleep and can’t stop thinking about that time and still the question haunts me what was the reason that he left me at least i deserved an explanation,
here i would like to say thank you to insomnia for coming and keeping me awake.since then i am living with the curse of loneliness and don’t know how long i will survive with this. as my mental sickness is getting worst day by day and this loneliness is killing me slowly……….
I have so much to say but will keep it simple and short as much as I can.there was a guy born in Muslim country and the society was too religious His childhood was tormenting as he faced not only sexual abuse but also verbal abuse as he was a feminine shy kinda guy. So he never told about the sexual or Verbal abuse he keep it inside his heart cursing him self, once he tried to end his life but that didn’t work as his mother came to know and she ran him to hospital.mom asked many times but he never told her anything ad he knew if he will tell they will kill him. As this was the custom and law to kill queer guys soon he went to university where things got worst as not only his classmates bullied him but teacher as well. There he meet a guy on Internet he was studying medicine that time after few months they met and this guy fell in love with doctor.for almost a year the kept their relationship secret one day doctor left the guy without any reason. The guy still wants his answers but he can’t reach to him later he discovered that doc has got married to a girl. This guy flew to Europe but here things were different LGBT community is all about masculine and big tools and most of the guys he interacted used to call him a terrorist Muslim. This made him more upset as in 6 years of staying in Europe and still the guy is looking for acceptance. Being so neglecting he has nothing more to rather kill himself but he never succeeded in it. He end up harming him self and seeking professional health was good but soon doctors told him he can’t not be curved as meds aint working and the keep on cutting himself.as he is bipolar with severe social phobia and insomnia though he is taking many pills but the rejection and not being accepted in the world is his question and the answer is he must end his life as neither his family and country will accept him now the county he is living in…..😢😢😢😢